This is a problem that affects the person who feels sexually deprived, the person’s mate, and the couple unit. This is a problem that is not to be ignored. The bottom line is: if you are married and one of the members within the marital unit would like to have a sexually intimate marriage, and the other does not wish to, this is a conflict that is not silly. Whether your life has more similarity to scenario A or scenario B, or no similarity to either scenario and is your own unique scenario but under the topic header of ‘sexual deprivation’ due to a little to non existent sexual relationship with your spouse, the bottom line is the same. As explained in scenario A, action does need to be taken. She either: a) has had, is having, or is considering having an affair, or b) will eventually leave the marriage, or c) lives sexually unfilled and masturbates (which leaves her unfulfilled), despite this she remains. Wife lives an existence in marriage where she is sexually deprived. I do still love her and wish to remain married to her. I just don’t have an interest in being sexual with my wife, although I did at one time. Or, the scenario rather is: I never had a large sex drive, but it was certainly more than it currently is. I am loving in every other way, this is who I am. My wife does have sexual desires and she is longing for sexual activity with me.
I do not have sexual needs, as far back as I can recall I never really did. Rather than the relationship continue to decline and disconnect sexually as the years continue, take action. Without sexual intimacy in marriage, the person feels unloved, unwanted.įor those living a similar existence to case scenario A, consider what action to take, both husband and wife to attend to this lack of sexual marital intimacy. The lack of sexual fulfillment, the lack of sexual intimacy, actual sexual deprivation is a real thing. He either: a) goes for massages with a “happy ending”, b) has had, is having, or is considering having an affair, c) will eventually leave the marriage once the kids are older, or d) lives sexually unfulfilled and masturbates (which leaves him unfulfilled), despite this he remains. Husband lives an existence in marriage where he is sexually deprived. Several months pass at a time and maybe we’ll have sexual intimacy once, to then go several more months perhaps a year or longer before we will be intimate again.
But on occasion he does bring our lack of sexual intimacy up in conversation still. So we rarely talk about our lack of sexual intimacy. As the years have progressed, he does leave me alone now. I do love him, I want to remain married to him, but I wish he would leave me alone sexually. I do have some sexual desire, but not as much as him. I am not interested in being sexually intimate with my husband. Thus, there is no experience of quality enhancement as quantity is little to non existent. Thus, quality is lacking because quantity is lacking. This blog is focusing on the married group of couples who there is truly barely to no sexual intimacy. Nor is this article focusing on couples who are generally sexually active but the quality is not as fulfilling as one or both desires. This blog article is not a discussion about different desires in frequency. Longing for sexual intimacy left unfulfilled in quantity and quality is a challenge, and a taboo topic for many.Īs a Psychotherapist who has been providing marriage counseling since 1993 I will share with you this secret if you and your spouse lead an inactive sexual relationship, and your mate is not asexual, then your mate is not happy about this lack of intimacy. Whether you are a man or a woman, yearning for sexual intimacy with your spouse is a healthy desire. The fact is, married women too experience sexual deprivation. The myth is that it is only married men who feel sexually deprived. Feeling sexually deprived in marriage is not uncommon.